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Trauma Specialists Unable to Substantiate Exmo Claims
By Lt. Ob V. Us
"It's so hard to process the trauma I experienced as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ," explained Evan, a professional reditor who left the church more than a decade ago. "The cruelties that I suffered are difficult to describe."
Evan claims to have spent the past several years advocating for those that he feels have been marginalized by the church. He and several other former members of the faith called in Dr. Oliver Stevens, who leads a group of trauma specialists, to evaluate the extent of the physical and emotional trauma that Evan and his friends claim to have experienced.
"The way that Evan made it sound, we thought we might need to involve law enforcement and medical professionals..." said Dr. Stevens. "But after thorough examinations, it doesn't seem like they experienced any actual trauma..."
"It's just so frustrating that the burdens placed on ex-members are being ignored..." complained Evan.
"There's no doubt he's under a burden," clarified Dr. Stevens. "But it's not because he used to belong to a church... He weighs 450 pounds, and he was spooning mayonnaise into his mouth from a jar during our examination."
"We cannot ignore the real pain of victims like Sarah," continued Evan. "The church judged and abused her!"
"We looked into Sarah's case," said Dr. Stevens. "The church paid for several months' worth of groceries and housing expenses, and then invited her to attend a meeting... I wouldn't call that judgment or abuse..."
"Or the way that they hate Jaclyn just for existing!" shrieked Evan.
"As it turns out, Jaclyn had been asked to leave after attempting to start a meetinghouse on fire," explained Dr. Stevens. "That did not seem harsh at all..."
"More than just our experience... I want to connect with others who have experienced real trauma because of their membership in the church..." said Evan as he held up a cardboard sign with his Venmo information.
"I've seen the results of real trauma," said Dr. Stevens. "There are no signs of it among this group of individuals..."
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