This phrase seems to be increasing in popularity. Nowhere is it more popular than in debates about homosexuality. The phrase is among the more tame used to tell those that believe homosexuality is sinful that they should be more accepting of its practitioners. In less tame debates, those that condemn the practice are called "homophobic," "bigoted," "hateful," or some other unsavory name.
In more civil conversations, those that are more defensive of the homosexual position will use the "hate the sin but love the sinner" phrase persuasively. Particularly when they themselves are Christian and they seem to apply this principal in practice. Those that do not believe in God or in the concept of sin are far less persuasive.
The phrase is typically used to convey a sense of understanding. Those that defend homosexuality imply that they are aware of the concerns of those that view it as sinful. Those that argue against homosexuality are in a difficult situation when the phrase is used because it is true that God hates sins, but loves those that commit them. Jesus Christ himself was not afraid to mingle with those that had gone astray, although it brought disdain from the Pharisees and others of his contemporaries. To reject this argument would be to reject Christ.
The problem with this phrase is credibility. It is not difficult to tell people that they should be more accepting of a group you have already accepted. It is currently politically correct and in many circles socially acceptable to practice homosexual behavior. Defending a popular and politically correct point of view does not make those of us who embrace a more traditional view think that we are understood.
Exactly how do you hate the sin but love the sinner? Is not practicing it oneself enough? Is speaking out against the sin appropriate? If so, how does one speak out against a sin in a loving manner? How can a person express love toward an individual that embraces or perhaps even identifies themselves by their practice of something abhorrent?
Rather than tackle the homosexuality debate, I would like to discuss the difficulty of the "hate the sin but love the sinner" phrase by applying it do something that is not politically correct or popular: racism.
God hates racism, but loves racists. By extension, you should hate racism, but love racists.
Racism is perhaps the most politically incorrect ideal that a person can have. In fact, by writing this post, I have probably precluded myself from a political career. That having been said, I have known racist people that I would consider to be good people, certainly as much as those defending homosexuality can think of examples of good people that are gay.
I also believe that racism is a label that is frequently assigned to ideas that are not actually racist. Racism is not synonymous with prejudice. I have a bit of experience with this.
In high school, I was a scrawny-built geeky kid. As such, I occasionally feared that I would be victimized by bullying. I recall spending extra time to avoid areas where I knew certain Hispanic students gathered. It was not the fact they were Hispanic that bothered me, it was the culture of particular groups that seemed to embrace brawling that was distasteful. I also avoided the Caucasian jock culture or the Caucasian punk-rocker culture that seemed to embrace similar practices.
I definitely pre-judged these groups. It is possible that the members of these cultures in high school might have treated me with respect and dignity in spite of my social ineptitudes and lanky build, but I was afraid to take that chance. My prejudice was not based on race, it was based on culture. In fact, I had friends that were Hispanic, black, and Asian with whom I got along well. They were typically the less popular and more studious types to whom I could better relate, and by whom I felt less threatened.
True racism is a prejudice based on no other characteristic other than race.
During my high school years in southern California, a controversial proposition appeared on the state ballot that dealt with preventing illegal aliens from obtaining health and education benefits. There were a large number of Hispanics that came to school with their faces painted or wearing shirts that had the no symbol over the proposition number, 187. Many of them decried the measure as racist. Rumors spread even to less social circles such as my own that there would be an attempt by those in opposition to the measure to walk out of school. During my PE class, I recall seeing a series of automobiles drive past the school brandishing large Mexican flags and shouting at us. Since I did not speak Spanish, I did not understand many of the things that were shouted, but I do recall one. I was standing next to a black boy and several Hispanics when I heard a passenger in one of these cars shout "F___ you white boy! F___ you n_____! Viva Mexico!!"
I found it ironic that they were out protesting a measure they considered racist, but had no problems judging myself or using the n-word to refer to the black boy in my class. That having been said, it was not difficult for me to dismiss this behavior. While I knew such racism was wrong, I did not feel compelled to shout back a suggestion that they not yell demeaning slurs regarding the race of others. Perhaps because I was afraid that such action would subject me to some retaliation after school, and perhaps I believed that the measure would likely fail anyway. In the end, proposition 187 passed, but was later declared unconstitutional. The very next year in high school, most students had forgotten about it life returned to normal.
I recall another instance of racially motivated violence at my high school between a black boy and a Hispanic boy. There were many expletives and slurs used before the two brawled, but the tamer among them involved the black boy telling the Hispanic boy to "go back to his country" and the Hispanic boy replying that the black boy should "go back to Africa." I did not have any desire to interfere in the conflict.
While the behavior in the previous examples is genuinely racist, the more socially detestable forms of racism are those that are held by whites against minorities. I know of individuals that have harbored such feelings.
I recall a conversation with an individual that believed he had been robbed by a group of Hispanics. The one experience had caused him to view all Hispanics as thieves. He told me that he did not want to be racist, but that they "made" him racist. Even though I was young at the time, I knew that it was probably an unfair generalization to make. I was certain that my Hispanic friends did not participate in theft, and seemed to be good religious people. I also knew the man that confessed his racist feelings to me was also a good man that selflessly helped others. Should I have shouted "racist" at the top of my lungs and never spoken to him again? Should I have tried to quote the Book of Mormon where it says "he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile"? (2 Nephi 26:33) I did nothing.
Outside my rather mild anecdotal sources, there are more serious accounts of racism. There exist people that believe crimes against certain people are justifiable because of their race. There are those who do not wish to have others in their neighborhood because of their ethnicity. There are those that ridicule, humiliate, and abuse others for no reason but their skin color.
It is easy and politically correct to see the harm that can exist when race becomes a criteria for judging someone. That having been said, I believe that God loves racists. God loves people that do awful things. God cares about the well being of those that abuse others. God truly hates the sin, but loves the sinner. With respect to a sin that is nearly universally despised, who will stand up and tell people that they ought to love racists? Who will tell people that decry racism that they should be more loving and kind toward the KKK or neo-Nazis?
What about the people that have racist beliefs that feel they cannot help it? What about the people that feel others made them racist? You and I may believe it is a choice, but perhaps those that have racist feelings genuinely do not. It could even be argued that racism is a naturally occurring feeling that has existed in many civilizations throughout recorded history, just as there are those that make claims about the natural existence of homosexuality.
In the end, these arguments do not matter, because racism is wrong. Modern prophets have been clear regarding the position of Mormons and racism: "The Church unequivocally condemns racism, including any and all past racism by individuals both inside and outside the Church. In 2006, then Church president Gordon B. Hinckley declared that “no man who makes disparaging remarks concerning those of another race can consider himself a true disciple of Christ. Nor can he consider himself to be in harmony with the teachings of the Church. Let us all recognize that each of us is a son or daughter of our Father in Heaven, who loves all of His children." (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/race-church)
The ultimate question is how to hate the sin but love the sinner. The type of sin is not important to this principal.
Are those that stand up in defense of homosexuality in the name of loving the sinner as eager to stand and defend those that commit sins they recognize as wrong? Or are those that oppose homosexuality really being asked to hate the sin but love the sinner as long as the sin is trendy and/or politically correct?
If you do not believe that racism is a sin, then substitute racism for some other practice that you believe is sinful. How do you show Christian love and fellowship to someone while simultaneously denouncing the sins they embrace?
There is no perfect answer to the question. Even God uses different approaches with different people. Consider the following:
- To Ninevah, God sent Jonah saying that within forty days the city would be overthrown (Jonah 3:4)
- To Jerusalem in the days of Zedekiah, God sent Lehi to tell them they would be destroyed (1 Nephi 1:13, 18-20)
- To the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul wrote "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)
- To the seven churches of Asia, the Apostle John wrote "To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne." (Revelation 3:21)
- To the people of Israel, Isaiah wrote "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." (Isaiah 1:18)
- To the people of Israel, Isaiah also wrote "But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked." (Isaiah 57:20-21)
- When his Apostle Peter tried to tell Christ he would not be killed, Jesus rebuked him saying "Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men." (Matthew 16:23)
- When a sinful woman came and worshipped him, Christ forgave her in spite of the disaproval of the Pharisee in whose house he was saying "Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little." (Luke 7:38)
Perhaps there are cases when people ought to condemn that which is wrong boldly. Perhaps there are other cases when avoiding conflict is preferable. The constants however must be maintained.
In no case are we to begin hating the sinner. God said "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64:10) He also said "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." (Matthew 5:7)
In no case are we to begin loving the sin. Alma taught "for the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." (Alma 45:16) Jesus himself said "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." (Matthew 7:21-23)
In the end, there was only one who did not have a problem with loving sin and hating sinners. Everyone else can benefit from the advise to hate the sin and love the sinner.
