Thursday, January 31, 2013

Let homosexuals into scouting!

I have seen and heard a lot of conversation regarding the Boy Scouts voting to accept homosexuals as leaders and members.  I have made no secret of my opposition to almost everything associated with homosexuality, or my stance that homosexual behavior is wrong. 

With respect to the decision of the Boy Scouts, I feel to withhold my opposition.  After careful consideration, I have found I have a difficult time opposing the inclusion of homosexuals within the ranks of the Boy Scouts of America.  That's right, I think I am in favor of this.

Please do not misunderstand me, I am not changing my stance on the fact that homosexuality is wrong, nor am I renouncing the fact that those who encourage its practice or approve of altering marriage laws to include other groups are misguided.  I view homosexuality as a corrupt practice.  Its corrupt nature is precisely why it fits well with Boy Scouts.

I recall being involved in the Scouting program.  I was the beneficiary of dedicated leaders who honestly worked to help young men develop skills and understand principles that are potentially important.  At one point in the past, I had the ambition of becoming an Eagle Scout.  Thanks to the support of parents and leaders, I was able to advance to the rank of First Class. 

At this point, the nature of advancement changed.  The requirements involved waiting for periods of time and earning numbers of merit badges, which was not the emphasis of prior ranks.  At first, this concept was appealing.  It seemed as though advancement had opened up, and there was choice involved in learning skills and principles tailored to personal interests.  At this point, there was also an increased involvement in Scout Camps.

In these new environments that were less structured, I had the opportunity to meet a much larger group of scouts and leaders.  Gone were the times of being trustworthy, loyal, helpful, or friendly.  The scout motto "Be Prepared" seemed to have a universally understood and unspoken addendum of "to lie, cheat, and steal your way to merit badges."  Merit badge "councilors" signed cards as though they were liberally handing out autographs.  I would be remiss if I did not confess that some of the merit badges that I "earned" were obtained using the indulgence of such individuals rather than acquisition of skills and knowledge.

I had been shielded from the details of the costs associated with uniforms, badges, and participation, but as I became older, the existence of the "Friends of Scouting" movements that went around begging for additional money to fund camps that perpetuated everything corrupt in the scouting organization.  A scout, I had been told, was supposed to be thrifty, but I discovered that the upper echelons of the organization had more greed than thrift.

As freely as camp councilors pardoned themselves from actually instructing young scouts in the skills and principles required for awards, they seemed compulsively obsessed with practicing strange ceremonies and rituals as though they had Native American heritage.  Perhaps there were some that did have such heritage, but the majority of them did not.

I obtained the rank of "Star" scout before I determined that my time was better spent away from those that loved tight green scouting shorts.  I was also gifted in that I did not have parents who were determined to measure their success by my scouting rank, or who were so determined that I obtain the Eagle Scout award that they performed the work on my behalf.

Though the LDS church has been a longtime ally of the scouting program, I confess that I have secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) wished that they would sever this relationship.  Certainly the stance of Mormons, Catholics, and other Protestants on homosexuality has been a contributing factor in the Boy Scout organizations longtime policy of rejecting homosexual leadership.  There have been several cases where this policy has been challenged in the past, and it seems to have been close enough that the LDS church's young men program (Duty to God) was revised to provide a scout-like path.  Of course, the leadership was quick to say that this was not a replacement program for boy scouts, and that work towards an Eagle Scout award would fill much of the requirement for the Duty to God award, but the fact that the award represented a framework that could easily replace scouting was impossible to ignore.

As noble as the Scouting program's origins may have been, I am in favor of severing the connection to what has become a parasitic and corrupt group.  Homosexuality may be the catalyst that allows religious organizations to treat BSA for the cancer it is.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Anatomy of a High Council Talk

High Council Sunday...  perhaps the most yawn-inducing event in all of Mormonism.  Of course there are some individuals with this calling that do have some speaking ability, but it seems that the vast majority of gentlemen that address LDS congregations monthly are not chosen for their speaking abilities.

 I frequently wonder if some of them know how terrible their talks are.  When the 12-year-old youth speaker outshines them with a monotone reading of a random New Era article, it makes the audience wonder if they intend to give a horrible talk as some sort of punishment.  Perhaps our ward's contributions to the Boy Scouts were low...  perhaps we had poor attendance at the Stake fireside, or Stake Priesthood meeting...  Perhaps the Stake Presidency just hates our ward...  Wonder no longer; today we will analyze the anatomy of a High Council talk!

The format for this lighthearted analysis will consist of the high council speaker's words in bold and their thoughts in italics.

Wow, that youth speaker had way better material than me...  maybe if I just take two minutes to arrange my papers, I can avoid an awkward transition.  Hey!  I remember this paper, it was something I doodled instead of preparing a talk!  Best decision ever!  Oh crap!  A lot of people are staring at me...  They don't look happy either...  what can I say so that they never find out I was assigned to this ward because the Stake presidency can't stand them?  Oh I know!

Brothers and Sisters, I bring you the love of the Stake Presidency...

Whew!  That was close.  Now I can just babble about them for a couple minutes...  I just have to remember not to bring up the fact that this ward didn't contribute enough to Boy Scouts so I don't offend anyone.  Although if they haven't already been offended by how tight an green my Scout shorts are, maybe it won't hurt...  I'm getting sidetracked though...  the number of screaming children has doubled since I started...  I know!  I can just tell them I worked hard on preparing my talk!

So anyway...  I have been given an important topic today...  it is the topic of prayer!

Heh!  That did it!  They know they will feel guilty if they don't listen to a talk about prayer!  Crap... what do I say now?

When I got this topic, I was really excited...

Why are everyone's eyes glazing over?  Do they know that I was lying about being excited about prayer?  Heck, last night I fell asleep after 2 minutes of praying and woke up in a pool of my own drool 2 hours later...

I remember when I was a boy, my parents taught me to pray...

Or more accurately, they would spank me when I prayed for the Lions to win more football games instead of grandma to get better...

It's a lesson I've never forgotten...

 Unless it's football season...

It reminds me of the scripture story about ...

Come on brain, don't fail me now...

Enoch..  who prayed all day and all night...

What are those primary kids whispering?  Did I say something wrong?  Enos...that's what they're saying?  Ah crap...

Oh right...  Enos...  your kids are smarter than I am...

Condescending brats!

Anyway, Enos prayed all day and all night, and...

It looks like everyone is calming down now.  I can just keep spouting random details about Enos and I will have like five minutes left.  I wonder how much time I've used.  Probably at least seven minutes out of my fifteen...  I'll just look at the clock...  oh crap, only two minutes!?!?!?  But it felt like forever...  I wonder if that's how the congregation feels...  nah...  they love me!

And so my Uncle Frank's cancer got worse, and we didn't know what to do...

What am I even saying?  How did I get to Uncle Frank's cancer?  Oh well, it has a lot of details, so that's sure to keep people occupied...

 And he was coughing out blood and he had difficulty using the toilet...  his vision wasn't great either, which made it difficult for him to enjoy his favorite game show, the Price is Right...

Heh!  That was a great show...  "Come on down!!!!"


And anyway, the cows would kick over the milk bucket and spill it all over...  I would get so mad at them...

Is that the sound of applause?  I know they must love me, but we probably shouldn't applaud in Sacrament meeting...  oh wait...  that's snoring...

And so that's why shopping on Sunday is bad...  Sure, I enjoy a doughnut as much as the next guy...  in fact, my wife tells me I enjoy them a bit more than the next guy...   but I have a testimony that the word of wisdom helps us in our lives....

I'm on a roll now! Everything is coming together now!

...and that's when my son told me that he appreciated my example...  and I'm not saying that to boast, I'm saying that the Savior has blessed me...

...probably more than you...  Yeah, I'm both awesome AND humble!

...and I loved my mother...  she was the best...  even with her dementia and when she started fires in the care center that we sent her to...

Man I hated that care center...  I hope my kids send me someplace nicer when I lose it...

...and that's what happens when you try to go fishing without bait...  I mean what did you expect when...

What's that on my shoulder?  Oh...  it's the Bishop tapping his watch...  well he doesn't have to glare at me...

Well brothers and sisters...  Bishop is tapping his watch so I guess I should wrap it up...  I just want to bear my testimony of prayer.  I love prayer...  and that reminds me of when my daughter was sick and she was just puking all over the place...  it was the really gross...

Oh and that's just like when my sister ate that chicken that we had left out too long...  that was awful...

...so it's a good thing I had health insurance...  it's also a good thing to...

What now?!?!  Oh it's the Bishop tapping his watch again...  no wonder the Stake President doesn't like this ward...  they don't even let you finish your train of thought...

 Well... anyway...  that's my testimony of prayer...

I think that talk went pretty well!  I'm sure the reason all the people in the congregation are sleeping is because of the early meeting schedule...

Obviously this account is a bit tongue in cheek... but the kernel of truth at its core is that everyone could benefit from a little preparation, or with a greater understanding of oration.  Obviously no one is going to be as good as Jesus, who astonished people with his power and authority, (Matthew 7:28-29) but it should be the practice of Christians to try to connect with their audience when expressing the importance of his gospel.

It is also understood that there are some people who will not accept or appreciate the truth regardless of the presentation method, but for those that are sitting in a church congregation, this is likely a very small number.

If you are assigned to give a talk, consider the negative feelings that come on high council Sunday, and try and avoid pointless details and incoherent ramblings.  No one cares about how you prepare a talk unless it is really really good, and if they think it is, they will ask you.  Don't waste time on that subject during the talk.  Be mindful of the time.  Even great orators that can hold an audience's attention for long stretches know the value of being concise.  It is better to have a short talk with value and substance than a long talk that will be forgotten before the benediction.

 Ultimately, know one is perfect, but it doesn't hurt to try to be better....

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

How to misinterpret the Bible

The Bible is viewed by some as the definition of Christianity.  The contents of the Bible for this group defines their religion in its entirety.  They believe it is more than inspired; they believe it is infallible.

For the other extreme, the Bible is viewed as a loose set of guidelines, or perhaps even suggestions for living rather than laws by which humanity will be judged.

Of course, not to be excluded is the group that feels the Bible is so flawed that it represents the best case against Christianity.

To add additional layers of complexity, arguments have ensued between people that place equal value on the word of God regarding its context, its meaning, or the wording of a particular translation.

With so many methods available to misinterpret the Bible, it becomes easy to see how there can be so much disagreement among Christians over even the most fundamental doctrines and concepts.  You may even wonder (and if you are not wondering, should should wonder) whether you are misinterpreting the Bible.  Here are a few ways:

1. The Bible is infallible.  Even though we do not actually have original manuscripts of what Moses, Isaiah, John, or Paul wrote, there are those that think the book is perfect.  This of course does not even touch on which translation should we consider to be accurate.  For example, Genesis describes God as being penitent and sorrowful that he created man, as if the creation was a mistake (Genesis 6:6-7)  Really?  God made a mistake?  Or is it possible that the Bible may have a mistake?  God didn't write the Bible, so odds are, there are some flaws.  That doesn't mean it's bad, just flawed... kind of like you...

2. The Bible is complete.  This is convenient for those that want to do something that is not specified in the Bible.  There is even a scripture in the Bible that seems to back it up, and it decries the adding or subtracting of the prophecy of this book.  (Revelation 22:18-19)  Of course, God said something almost identical in Deuteronomy 4:2, and yet a lot of prophecies were added after that.  Additionally, there was no such thing as the Bible in the days of Moses or of John.  It was compiled hundreds of years later.  There are lots of references in the Bible to books that did not make it in. (book of the Wars of the Lord (Num. 21:14); book of Jasher (Josh. 10:13; 2 Sam. 1:18); book of the acts of Solomon (1 Kgs. 11:41); book of Samuel the seer (1 Chr. 29:29); book of Gad the seer (1 Chr. 29:29); book of Nathan the prophet (1 Chr. 29:29; 2 Chr. 9:29); prophecy of Ahijah (2 Chr. 9:29); visions of Iddo the seer (2 Chr. 9:29; 12:15; 13:22); book of Shemaiah (2 Chr. 12:15); book of Jehu (2 Chr. 20:34); sayings of the seers (2 Chr. 33:19); an epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, earlier than our present 1 Corinthians (1 Cor. 5:9); possibly an earlier epistle to the Ephesians (Eph. 3:3); an epistle to the Church at Laodicea (Col. 4:16); and some prophecies of Enoch, known to Jude (Jude 1:14).)
The conclusion?  The Bible has a lot of good stuff... but complete?  Not so much...

3. The Old Testament has been fulfilled; it's not important anymore.  Of course there are elements of the Old Testament that are no longer required.  Christians no longer perform animal sacrifices, observe the Passover, and are even able to eat pork and shellfish.  That does not mean anything that came before Christ was rendered unimportant.  Christ was very concerned about the law and the prophets. (Matthew 5:17-20)  In fact, an examination of Matthew 5 indicates that Christ wanted people to live by a higher law than they had previously known.  No longer was it sufficient to say "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," but instead, "love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you." (Matthew 5:44)  Isaiah gave many prophecies about Christ's second coming, which are obviously yet to be fulfilled.  (Isaiah 2)  The Old Testament may contain references to things that are no longer used in terms of "Law of Moses" specifics, but there were many important events that help us understand who God is, how he deals with his children, and what life's purpose is.  Saying the Old Testament doesn't matter anymore is like saying arithmetic isn't important anymore because you're learning algebra.  Guess what, you still need it!

4. As long as you believe in God, it doesn't matter what the Bible says.  Certainly there were times before the Bible.  There were even times before the oldest book in our Bible was written.  Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all lived before Moses wrote Genesis and told their story, so no amount of the Bible played a role in how they made decisions and recognized God.  That having been said, the Bible is important today.  Does a person need to be baptized to enter the Kingdom of Heaven? or is believing God exists all that is important?  The Bible contains Jesus's answers to these important questions.  (John 3:5)  For a Christian, the importance of learning what Christ did and taught should be obvious...

5. Everything in the Bible is symbolic.  Stories in the Bible that describe events such as the flood in the days of Noah, or a time when men lived hundreds of years before dying, or even when Elijah called down fire from heaven may seem fantastic.  Some people feel more comfortable if they dismiss such events as metaphors for something.  It must be more believable to say that God "figuratively" plagued Egypt, or that he "figuratively" raised Lazarus from the dead.  Unfortunately, people that subscribe to this thinking are "figuratively" full of crap.

6. Everything in the Bible is literal.  On the other side of the coin are those that embrace every parable and analogy as the literal truth.  These kinds of people were like the ones weirded out when Jesus told them they needed to eat his flesh. (John 6:51-60)  There are many things that were done symbolically.  The details of animal sacrifice and ordinances all had meaning beyond the literal actions.  The many parables that Jesus taught were to help certain people learn specific things.  People who failed to understand symbolism then are much like those that fail to understand it today... they "literally" don't know what the Bible is saying.

7. Some verses in the Bible aren't politically correct, so the whole book must be false.  Some people seem to know only those verses in the Bible that discuss dealing with suspected adulterers under the Mosaic law and government, or the verses in which Paul talks about women being silent in churches.  (Deuteronomy 22, 1 Timothy 2:11-12)  Since there are verses in both the Old and New Testaments, I guess you can just dismiss both of them, right?  I mean, it's not possible for some parts of a book to be more important than other parts, right?  If you don't have a problem with say... homosexuality, adultery, or fornication... then you can just dismiss what the Bible says about it because of the politically incorrect verses, right?  And because you only read a handful of controversial verses, you have a good idea about the themes and principles in the rest of it, right?  On the other hand, could it be that you have no idea what the Bible is about, or that your assumptions about what is good or bad that come from your cultural traditions may have as many flaws as (or perhaps even more than)  those cultures described in Biblical times against whom you are eager to pass judgement?  Do you honestly think that being politically correct is more important than learning the true purposes of mankind and life itself? 

8. The Bible is too difficult to understand, so I'm better off without it.  So said the 40-year-old McDonald's employee about high school math.

9. The Bible is the highest authoritative source.  Don't get me wrong.  I love the Bible.  I believe the word of God is contained in beauty, power, and authority within it.  The problem with viewing the law as authoritative was the same issue that the Pharisees had.  They were so consumed with ensuring they knew the law that they missed out on recognizing the law-giver when he came among them.  God is the highest authoritative source; the Bible is not.  If you think that God is not capable of communicating with mankind except by means of a flawed book (See #1 and #2) then why call him God?  If he sent prophets and angels in times past to augment or clarify the meaning of his word, why should our time be so different.  Hint: it's not.

10. The Bible has a code that can be used to calculate the exact date of when Jesus will come again and everything else that will happen in the future.  How can I put this?.... It's a book... just try reading the words...  Counting characters is missing the point...

Ultimately, there are innumerable ways to misunderstand the Bible.  People have used it to justify hunting down so-called heretics, and also used it to excuse those guilty of terrible crimes.  People have used it to condemn and to justify the same acts.  I assert that very few in either group have actually read the entire Bible... let alone qualified themselves to interpret it.

Of course the Bible can be difficult to read and to understand, but the effort required to do so is well worth it.  The Bible may not contain the answer to every question, but with eloquence and power it can shine light on the truth.  There are few things in the English language as powerful as the declaration of Jesus Christ in John 11: "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die." (John 11:25-26)

Additionally, the Bible points us to God for additional wisdom.  The Prophet Joseph Smith was confused by the heated debates between various sects that all seemed to use the same Bible to endorse themselves and condemn one another.  He writes:
"While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties caused by the contests of these parties of religionists, I was one day reading the Epistle of James, first chapter and fifth verse, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible." (Joseph Smith - History 1:11-12)

Here is the wisdom of the Bible... it directs us, as it did Joseph Smith, to God himself.

In the end, any other persuasion derived from the Bible is erroneous.  Why call it the word of God if it does not lead us back to him?  I assert that it can and does for all those that diligently search its pages.