Perhaps the experience of seeing how cruel people can be in the comments below videos and news articles made something I read from Elder Quentin L Cook's Facebook shocking to me. He said this:
Elder David A. Bednar recently cautioned members to be authentic in the use of social media. A prominent thought leader, Arthur C. Brooks, has emphasized this point. He observes that when using social media, we tend to broadcast the smiling details of our lives but not the hard times at school or work. We portray an incomplete life—sometimes in a self-aggrandizing or fake way. We share this life, and then we consume the “almost exclusively … fake lives of [our] social media ‘friends.’” Brooks asserts, “How could it not make you feel worse to spend part of your time pretending to be happier than you are, and the other part of your time seeing how much happier others seem to be than you?”At first glance, it almost seemed like he was advocating using social media to whine. Don't try to be positive... be yourself... right? And if you are authentically a disagreeable individual who derives pleasure from provocation, then don't pretend to be nice, because that's not authentic. If you are the type of individual who secretly indulges in graphic depictions of sex and/or violence, then don't pretend you are only online to read the Bible... right? Be true to yourself. Be authentic. Right?
On the other hand... Quentin L Cook is a prominent religious leader. He can't be advocating the kind of comments on YouTube that use the F-bomb in every part of speech except an article and a pronoun... can he? The invitation to authenticity can't mean an invitation to express hatred and vitriol from the comfort of the computer desk... right? He's not excusing people harassing one another because they authentically want to... Of course not.
The point is "we tend to broadcast the smiling details of our lives but not the hard times at school or work."
So to apply this, imagine an individual is having a difficult day at work. Because they are short-handed, this person is required to do more work than normal, but still has pressure to appear positive when dealing with impatient and unhappy customers. Under this pressure, the person makes a small mistake, and the supervisor has to come and assist in correcting it. The supervisor has a frustrated tone as they remind the person of the correct procedure, adding to the frustration of the day. After the workday is over, they come home to their computer and go to Facebook. Here they see advice telling them to "be authentic" in the use of social media, and not just "broadcast the smiling details" of life. They decide to write a big status indicating that their boss is a jerk for overworking them without increasing their pay, and that they were a jerk for handling a minor mistake. Unfortunately for this individual, they have forgotten that their boss followed them on Facebook. The boss posts a scathing reply and indicating how much pressure they were under, and how costly their mistake was. The individual is then invited to turn in their supplies and find another job.
While I don't personally know anyone who has dealt with it to that extreme, I do know people that have experienced negative consequences for using what seemed to be authenticity regarding their employment or schooling.
Not only online, but in many situations, religious standards ask disciples not to be true to themselves, but rather to discipline themselves. Consider the words of Alma to his son Corianton:
Now my son, I would that ye should repent and forsake your sins, and go no more after the lusts of your eyes, but cross yourself in all these things; for except ye do this ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. Oh, remember, and take it upon you, and cross yourself in these things. (Alma 39:9)Consider also the words in the book of Matthew:
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:24-25)
The goal behind every Christian faith should always be to make bad men good, and to make good men better... not to make men comfortable with how they currently are.
So how do the two ideas become reconciled?
The answer involves understanding the link between what Elder Cook described as "authenticity" and the word honesty.
The same dilemma is sometimes mocked in social media posts where a girlfriend approaches her boyfriend in some unflattering outfit and asks if it makes her look "fat." If he answers honestly, even if he is as polite as he can be, the girlfriend takes offense. If he tells her that it does not, he is being dishonest. And anymore, if he dodges the question, the girlfriend takes it as a yes, and takes offense. How does a person be "authentic" while still "denying himself"? How can a person be honest and kind?
Let me suggest that the request to be authentic is not a suggestion to air dirty laundry. It's not to "vent" or "lash out" or be "passive aggressive" toward people that seem irritating. When prophets and scriptures counsel men to be honest, they do not mean to be cruel. Latter Day Saints, as all Christians, ought to embrace that which is "virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy." (Art of Faith 1:13) The invitation to be authentic does not mean to become cynical or pessimistic
either.
Being authentic means attempting to avoid hypocrisy. Practicing what we preach is vital to religious worship. In other words... continue to broadcast the smiling details of your life AND make sure you smile in life. Make a smiley-face emoji, but also try to make your face smile.
Being authentic also applies to how you treat others. If you have "friends" online... try and be actually friendly to them. If you disagree with someone, be civil, and resist the urge to stir up contention.
Don't pretend to be happy... become happy. Don't pretend to have faith... exercise faith. Don't pretend to be better than you are... but in a deliberate, diligent, and authentic manner, and in social media as well as every other aspect of life... become like Christ. Because Christ was the ultimate example of being the best.
