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Make Easy Money by Pitting People Against Each Other - Become a Journalist Today!
brought to you by Clamp News
Are you frustrated by how hard you have to work to make money? Don't you just hate people that have happy and successful lives?
What if we told you that you could get lots of fame and money while providing zero value to anyone else? Sound too good to be true? It's not! It's journalism!
We dig into the lives of people we despise until we find something questionable, and then we frame it in the worst possible way. Now you might be wondering how this makes money, but it's surprisingly easy!
People who want to believe the half-truths we spread will advertise for us. People who don't will fight back against the people who do, and they will also advertise for us. They'll be so focused on tearing each other down, that they won't notice they are increasingly invested in buying whatever we're selling.
You might be wondering about the ethics of pitting people against one another and profiting off their conflict... and sure, we could go into that... but did you hear what your political opponents said yesterday? I don't know how such hateful and evil people can be allowed to do anything in this country...
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