Jesus: You are my friend, but only if you do what I tell you

"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." (John 15:14)

If we look at this verse from the Come Follow Me reading this week, and examine it by itself, it might make us think we are looking at the promises of a disingenuous person.  In fact, I remember when my daughter was younger, she had a "conditional" friend, who would only want to be with her if my daughter agreed to do what she wanted.  I remember talking to my heartbroken child, explaining that this other little girl was not being a good friend... she was being manipulative.

Of course, when our Master Jesus Christ (a man who loves less conditionally than any other) says it, we have to think deeper about what is meant.  What is a "friend"?  Why is this conditional?  There are several different perspectives about our relationship with Christ that can help us obtain a better understanding of what Jesus was saying.

First, consider the Milgram experiment.  This experiment was a psychological test in which the subject was told to administer shocks to a "learner" by an authority figure.  The participant was progressively instructed to press a button giving worse and worse electric shocks, ultimately resulting in the apparent death of the learner.  In truth, no actual electric shocks were given... they were only simulated.  Reactions of the person receiving the shocks were acted.

In spite of this, subjects were recorded as displaying signs of stress, and questioning the authority figure.  Additionally, a large percentage of participants continued pressing the "shock" buttons after being assured by the authority figure, in spite of their discomfort.

Though there have been various interpretations of the experiment, there is an important comparison that can be drawn between this scenario and our relationship with Jesus Christ.  In fact, it was the weight of our sins and misdeeds that caused him to tremble because of pain, to bleed from every pore, and to plea with our Father for some other way. (D&C 19:18)

Metaphorically speaking, Jesus is being shocked, tormented, and tortured, and we are pushing the button to make it happen.

In this context, when Jesus says "ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you," it could be taken as "I want to be your friend, but I really want you to stop pushing the button."

In other words, the condition he places on friendship is that we treat him as an actual friend... that we realize the pain that our bad choices have directly caused him to endure... and that we use every means in our power to avoid tormenting him.  In this context, the very idea that he still seeks friendship with us, knowing we are responsible for his suffering, is notable.

Second, consider the context that Jesus provides in the surrounding verses.  "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.  Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.  Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you."

Specifically, he is talking to his apostles, who considered themselves his servants, and the path of discipleship that they began as servants has an end in a closer relationship.  In other words, if they continue on the path they started, (the "covenant path" as President Nelson has called it), the destination at the end is not something that looks like eternal servitude... but something that looks more like friendship.

Even before the end, because of his love for his apostles, he sacrificed himself so that they would escape.  John records these events shortly after the heart-wrenching betrayal of Judas Iscariot:

"Then asked he them again, Whom seek ye?  And they said, Jesus of Nazareth.  Jesus answered, I have told you that I am he: if therefore ye seek me, let these go their way: That the saying might be fulfilled, which he spake, Of them which thou gavest me have I lost none." (John 18:7-9)

Ultimately, this relationship extends to each of us who continue on the covenant path.  If we continue on it... if we do as he commanded... then the sacrifice he made when he laid down his life applies to us.  In spite of our guilt, a miraculous and cleansing forgiveness can be ours, if we do our very best to follow him.  In other words... we can be his friends, for whom he laid down his life, if we do what he has commanded us.

Finally, a context of humility can help us understand the passage.  Jesus told a parable describing this point:

"When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him;  And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.  But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.  For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted." (Luke 14:8-11, emphasis added)

Many well-intentioned people, having experienced the sweetness of Christ's forgiveness, have called Jesus their friend.  Of course, I don't know the full details of how Jesus feels about any other people... certainly not enough to give any sort of reprimand... but I do know something about my own relationship with Jesus. 

I would never presume to call him my friend.

He is my Master.  He is my King.  But he is so far above me, and I have done enough idiotic things in my life that, between the two of us, I would never dare be the one to claim we are friends.  My place is in the lowest room.

I do intend to live my life a bit better, every day striving to walk the covenant path, every day holding closer to the iron rod, and every day trying to do whatsoever he commands me, that perhaps one day he will call me "friend."

While it may good to be wary of most people who place strict conditions on friendship... there is no one like Jesus.

I pray each of us will increase our humility before him, will seek to better understand him and his teachings, and will stop "pressing the button" that Christ my say to us "Ye are my friends."

I can forgive you... as long as someone gets tortured and killed for what you did

The most fundamental aspect of Christianity is that Jesus Christ suffered and died for the sins of the world.  Because of his sacrifice, humanity can be redeemed.

The atonement of Christ is not a secret, and sects ranging from the most energetic protestants and evangelicals to the most stoic and reserved orthodox disciples are usually not shy about expressing their total reliance on the sacrifice of Jesus.

Scriptures from all periods of time have references to this doctrine.  Consider the following:

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed...
Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors." (Isaiah 53:4-5,10-12)

The doctrine is confirmed in the New Testament as well:

"For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit" (1 Peter 3:18)

The Book of Mormon is also clear on the need for the atonement of Christ:

"And now, the plan of mercy could not be brought about except an atonement should be made; therefore God himself atoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also." (Alma 42:15)

The concept was explained by Jesus himself in one of the most famous verses ever:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

Because of its familiarity, Christians tend to take it for granted, and the faithless tend to treat it as false, and the reasoning behind this event is lost.  It is worth closer inspection.

Our Heavenly Father has issued a series of laws, the violation of which condemns an individual to perpetual outcast from the presence of God (Alma 11:37).  To escape this condemnation, God extends mercy to the penitent, but only because his son was subjected to unspeakable torture and then subsequently brutally slain at Golgotha.

If God loved his children and wanted to pardon sins, why would his forgiving power require the savage torture and slaughter of someone else?

Of course, the problem with this assessment is that it is based on our perception that sin is little more than an error in judgement, and that the consequences of these actions do not produce unseen effects.
Consider the invention of the shoe-fitting flouroscope.  This device represented a new application for x-rays, and blasted the feet of the user with radiation so that the bones as well as the outline of the shoe were visible to promote better fitting shoes.  As more information about radiation was discovered, links between the use of such devices and bone cancer were discovered.  Though the immediate effects were not visible, over time and with increased understanding, the negative consequences were exposed.

Similarly, those who indulge in behaviors that contradict the commandments of God and the counsel of his prophets may not seem to have any immediate negative consequences, but our current inability to see and understand the spiritual aspects of human life make it impossible for us to understand the negative impact of sin on a spirit.

What we could not see or understand, Jesus Christ could.  Though angels attended him as he endured the cruel process by which he could heal the spiritual damage of sin, he prayed earnestly for another way to do it (Luke 22:42).  Blood oozed through his skin as he was subjected to pressures and pains beyond human comprehension (Luke 22:44).  Ultimately, he had to endure the pain on the cross without any help (Matthew 27:46).

Forgiveness of sins was never a matter of pretending like it did not happen... It involves repairing spiritual damage.  It requires restoring matter that, unlike mortal flesh and blood, is permanent.  This is not a cheap experience, and cannot be simply done on a whim.  It required a specific and deliberate process, that could only be performed by one person... the son of God himself.

"Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him..."  "that he might bring us to God..." "to bring about the plan of mercy..." "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

More than sparing himself excruciating pain, he wanted to help you, and I, and all of us realize our potential.  He paid the price to heal us.  Even now, he sends his prophets to plead with us to use his power.  For all those who come to him, he will give gift he purchased with such a great price... the miracle of forgiveness.