<satire>
PIMO Screams and Flees Trunk-or-Treat From Child Dressed As Building Cleaning Signup Sheet
Brandon, a physically in mentally out (PIMO) member of the church tore away from his local "trunk-or-treat" activity, screaming in horror.
"He had been OK," said Connor, Brandon's neighbor. "I mean, I thought it was kind of lame that he was handing out stale candy from Easter, but he had no problems with kids dressed as witches, ghosts, or zombies..."
Apparently, the calm ended when he was approached by a child wearing a "Building Cleaning Signup Sheet" costume.
"I mean, I get that no one likes mopping bathroom floors," said Stephen, the 13-year-old wearing the sandwich-board costume. "But I didn't think he would melt down like that..."
After an hour of searching, Brandon's wife Cammy, found him across the street, rocking back and forth in the fetal position, repeatedly asking "why can't the church just hire janitors?"
"It's embarrassing..." admitted Cammy. "Like, would it kill us to pitch in and give a little service? Particularly when we regularly use our beautiful buildings and enjoy the activities? Looks like it's back to therapy for us... I wonder where he's going to point on the doll when asked where helping to clean hurt him..."
</satire>
