<satire>
Church Community vs Church - New PIMO Guide
by Ananias and Sapphira
Some people might say we're playing church, but that's not fair... we don't actually believe it. I mean, we liked Jesus, but these apostles... they're just an organization of imperfect men. We're Physically In Mentally Out. PIMO.
That's not to say we don't enjoy hanging out. We still go to all the meetings. We still like all the people who believe (even though we wish they didn't believe). We just have a few reservations.
Take, for example, this practice of "having all things in common..." Seems like a greedy play for our stuff... which we are not OK with... But we can't just come out and say that without revealing that we actually hate the church and everything it stands for...
But since the church is just run by men - we've got a great plan. We can sell our stuff, and then only give part of what we got to the church. And Simon "denied Christ" Peter will never know, because he's just an imperfect man - not Jesus.
Anyway, if you follow our lead, you too can enjoy the benefits of church community without having to believe in the actual church. NO POSSIBLE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES! Because even if there are rumors about us not paying the full amount, it's not like God would strike us down for not supporting a church run by men...
</satire>
