Ward Preacher Podcast Ep 13 - When Jesus deliberately pushed people away

This week, on the Ward Preacher Podcast:

• Why Jesus dismissed a pleading woman as a dog
• Why Jesus can judge us
• Jesus deliberately pushes people away by preaching they should eat his flesh and drink his blood

The Come Follow Me material covers Matthew 14-15, Mark 6-7, and John 5-6.


Soundcloud:

https://soundcloud.com/user-961318159/ward-preacher-ep-13-when-jesus-deliberately-pushed-people-away

Youtube:

Satire: Democratic Socialist confident on Judgment Day that his voting record will get him into heaven

(Matthew 25:31-46)

<Satire>

Bleaty McBleat, a goat, was surprised to find himself isolated from all of his sheep friends on the day of judgment.  Bleaty was placed on the left hand of the King, along with all the other goats.

As the King was praising the sheep on his right hand for the good that they had done for others, including feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and visiting the sick, Bleaty explained that he would be joining the sheep very soon.

"You see," said Bleaty.  "I'm a Democratic Socialist.  I voted for politicians to take money from people more wealthy than me, and put it in programs to help the hungry, the naked, and the sick.  That means I probably deserve to be rewarded even more than those sheep... many of whom voted for greedy capitalists!"

A quick glance at the Book of Life did confirm that Bleaty voted for Democratic Socialists, and spent long hours calling anyone who did not subscribe to his political philosophy "racist, bigoted, and greedy" in the hopes that they would be inspired to stop giving their money to charities, and start giving it to politicians who promised "social justice."

"No, I don't think it's ironic that I bought new iPads every year and drank expensive coffee every day," explained Bleaty.  "Those purchases aren't real capitalism because I used them to help me own the cons... which I do because I care about the poor."

As the King turned to the goats and began enumerating the opportunities to help people that they had squandered, Bleaty wore a confident smile.  After all, as soon as he explained that he could not help those who were in need around him because he was attacking those who did not agree with him, Bleaty was sure that the King would see the mistake in his final judgment.

</Satire>

Ward Preach Podcast Ep 12 - Jesus Teaches Reverse Socialism

This week the Come Follow Me curriculum covers Matt 13, Luke 8, 13.

We emphasize Matthew 13, delving into the parable of the sower, the wheat and the tares, the pearl of great price, and others.  We also talk about how parable instruction is like reverse socialism.  "Who hath ears to hear, let him hear!"

Soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/user-961318159/ward-preach-podcast-ep-12-jesus-teaches-reverse-socialism


Youtube:

Satire: "You worship Joseph Smith!" accuses man who worships the Apostle Paul

<Satire>

Tom, an attendee of the Second Non-Denominational Church, took to social media this past Sunday to attack Stephen, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, accusing him of worshiping Joseph Smith.

"You aren't even Christian!" accused Tom.  "Your religion was started by Joseph Smith in the 1800's, not God!"

"Joseph Smith taught that mankind can only be saved through the atonement of Christ," replied Stephen.  "The most defining events of Joseph Smith's life are shaped by revelations and commandments that he received from Jesus Christ."

"You're so blinded by your devotion to Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon that you've missed the point of the Bible!" retorted Tom.  "Have you even read Romans?  Corinthians?  Galatians?  Ephesians?  How we are saved by grace, and not by works?"

"Yes," replied Stephen.  "And I believe that."

"You say you do... but Joseph Smith got started reading in the book of James!" said Tom.  "That's what your own missionaries teach!"

"... James is in the Bible too..." said Stephen.

"Of course a Mormon would say that!" said Tom.  "Paul didn't write that, so it's not really cannon!  And don't even get me started on the Old Testament!"

"Wait... not cannon?... they're legitimately in the Bible..." said Stephen.  "I thought you believed it was the infallible word of God..."

"What Paul wrote is the word of God..." explained Tom.  "I ripped the other bits out of my Bible."

"So... do you accept the Gospels?" asked Stephen.

"They give some context to help understand Paul," said Tom.  "He's the one who was transformed on the road to Damascus."

"Yeah... by Jesus..." said Stephen.

"Agree to disagree..." said Tom.  "And don't tell me what I believe!  I'm just saying that if you don't accept our Lord and Savior Paul, you can't be saved."

"You realize Paul spent his life preaching Jesus?" asked Stephen.

"Idiot Mormons... first Joseph Smith, now Jesus!" said Tom.  "You people are beyond saving!"

After the encounter Tom explained that he planned to return to worshiping Paul, and not a man like Mormons worship.

</Satire>

Ward Preacher Podcast Ep 11 - The Prince of Peace declares he is bringing a sword

This week's Come Follow Me curriculum covers Matthew 10-12, Mark 2, Luke 7, 11.

We emphasize the calling of Apostles, how the peace of Christ may not always be accompanied by peaceful circumstances, and why God rewards humble seekers of understanding.

Soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/user-961318159/ward-preacher-podcast-ep-11-the-prince-of-peace-declares-he-is-bringing-a-sword

Youtube:

Satire: Exmormon who cannot name any of his great grandparents claims "Mormons don't know their history"

<Satire>

Jimmy, a former member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, expressed concern about the lack of historical literacy in the church.

"They have no idea about some of the things in their past," said Jimmy.  "They don't even know basic details about where they came from!"

Jimmy claims that the CES Letter "opened his eyes" to the history of his former church.

"I was taught that Joseph Smith was a prophet," explained Jimmy.  "But even though I've read no primary sources, I have learned that he was a genius plagiarist and a complete idiot who couldn't write anything intelligent.  Mormons don't know even know about their history because they read stuff like The Book of Mormon and The Doctrine and Covenants."

When asked about the importance of understanding history, Jimmy was quick to offer this example:

"I mean, if Napoleon had known about Hitler invading Russia around winter, he probably wouldn't have done it, right?  That's what I'm talking about.  You have to know where you come from."

When asked how his personal history informed his position, he presented the following:

"My parents were from Salt Lake... and I think my grandparents did too...  I'm not sure about before that though...  I don't even know who my great grandparents were, but I don't think that's too important..."

</Satire>

Ward Preacher Podcast Episode 10 - The storms can't hurt Jesus

This week, the Come Follow Me curriculum covers Matthew 8-9 and Mark 2-5.  We cover our shared obligation to work to come to Christ, that Jesus casts out a Legion of evil spirits, and that the storms can't hurt the Son of God.

Soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/user-961318159/ward-preacher-ep-10-the-storms-cant-hurt-jesus

Youtube: