Satire: Man who can't remember anything President Nelson said in Conference thinks the prophet is ignoring him

<Satire>

Frank, a 45-year-old shelf replenishing engineer that lives in West Valley and balances his time putting on eyeliner and attacking the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, recently complained about how church President Russel M. Nelson seemed to be ignoring the needs of people in the state.

"We keep asking for the same things," explained Frank in exasperation. "We just want to have gay temple weddings, we want the church to fund gender transitions, and we want to be loved even if we identify as Pokemon on social media... But it's like he doesn't even hear what we're saying. How self-righteous does a person have to be to not even listen?!"

When asked about whether he listened to the prophet, Frank became defensive.

"I don't see what remembering what President Nelson said in General Conference has to do with anything," exclaimed Frank. "It's probably the same stuff like always... Honestly, I don't listen to what he's saying. It's easier when I don't hear it."

When reminded about the prophet's invitations to repent and come to Christ, Frank flipped us off, screamed profanities, and cried until his black eyeliner streaked down his large face.

</Satire>

Ward Preacher Podcast Ep 15 - The Big Changes from General Conference

Come Follow Me curriculum continues on the subject of the previous week, so this week's podcast is a little shorter, and discusses some thoughts regarding General Conference.

Soundcloud:

https://soundcloud.com/user-961318159/ward-preacher-podcast-ep-15-the-big-changes-from-general-conference

Youtube:

How NOT to teach from conference talks

For the past several years, teaching in Melchizedek Priesthood quorums and Relief Society in Sunday meetings have focused on the teachings of former presidents of the church.

This coming year, these meetings will focus on the teachings of living prophets and apostles.  This announcement is both exciting and terrifying.

Exciting because members of the church frequently take for granted that we enjoy the counsel of prophets and apostles who are guided by Jesus Christ.  There have been times when only a small family such as that of Noah or of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob enjoyed this type of guidance.  In the days of Moses, or during the reign of the Kings of Judah and Israel, a small nation had access to prophetic guidance.  The current availability of prophets to people around the globe is unprecedented, and frequently overlooked.  Emphasis on these inspired messages in Sunday meetings provides an opportunity for those who attend to receive the servants of God.

Terrifying because many people have sat through "Teachings for our Times" lessons that focused on general conference talks that follow this tired formula:

1. The instructor gets a volunteer to read a paragraph from a talk
2. The instructor tells everyone that they like the paragraph
3. The instructor asks a question that can be answered by "read your scriptures, go to church, pray."
4. The instructor checks the clock, and unless it is at least 5 minutes passed when the class is supposed to end, they begin again at step 1

The new teaching materials for youth and now for Priesthood and Relief Society are titled "Teaching in the Savior's Way," and this focus is intended to do promote that.  Rather than have a structured lesson from a manual, the philosophy is meant to provide opportunity to counsel and instruct based on the needs of the individuals.  This format is intended to promote a more natural expression of truth, faith, and testimony, and less of a canned one-size-fits-all lesson.

This is exactly how Jesus taught.  To some people, he emphasized truths using dramatic comparisons such as the prodigal son and the good Samaritan.  To others, he spoke more abstractly, such as his message to Nicodemus about being born again (John 3), or his teachings about the need to seek the bread of life to those who were hoping Jesus would give them a free meal (John 6).  He spoke with impressive authority in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), and with patience for little children (Mark 10).  He knew how to handle those who were argumentative (Matthew 21:23-45), and those who needed help (Mark 2).

Jesus wanted people to think deeply about eternal truths.  His approach encouraged people to search the scriptures and the words of the prophets, and persuaded people to pray, even though he did not emphasize the use of questions like "what are some ways we can follow the prophets?" or "who has a personal experience about this principle that they would be willing to share?"  Though the words of prophets were fundamental to his message, he demonstrated their importance through application and demonstration rather than a shallow proclamation such as "I like what Isaiah said there."

For those who are assigned to teach in any capacity, I hope that this new focus encourages you to teach as Jesus did.  Let the words of the prophets and the guidance of the Holy Ghost help you to persuade bad men to become good... and good men to become better... "Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:13)

Didn't the prophet say the same thing last conference?

When I attended singles wards, after Priesthood sessions of conference, it was common for us to be asked by women what the prophet had said, or what had happened in conference.  Of course, they were rarely satisfied with answers such as “keep the commandments.”  The mature and responsible thing to do would have been to pay closer attention to the messages to give a better accounting, but in an effort to prolong conversations with women, I would respond that the church was planning to send proselyting missionaries to Iran, or that a Temple had been announced in Jerusalem, or some other completely false but faith-promoting rumor.

Ultimately, prophets and apostles really were persistently asking us to keep the commandments.  Whether that meant moral cleanliness, magnifying our callings, studying the scriptures regularly, or repenting of our sins, the overall message was always familiar and repetitive. 

In our last conference, (April 2013) we again heard the words of prophets and apostles.  There were no earth-shattering doctrines announced; while new temple locations were given, they did not include the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.  We do tend to hear similar information each time we listen to the prophet speak. 

Certainly the most obvious reason for repetition is that members of the church are not doing this well enough.  The repetition is frustrating to some people.  After all, isn’t the definition of insanity to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results? 

Of course one thing to note is that conference does not contain any Jedi mind tricks.  No prophet or apostle waves their hands and says “these aren’t the droids you’re looking for… oh and do your family history…”  The church leaders are not saying the same things each conference to control you… they are trying to persuade you… to plead with you to change yourself.  They expect you to find ways to heed the call to come unto Christ from your own unique circumstances and background, and provide tools to help you do it.

It is with a kind voice and with a gentle tone that President Monson said: “The knowledge which we seek, the answers for which we yearn, and the strength which we desire today to meet the challenges of a complex and changing world can be ours when we willingly obey the Lord’s commandments.”

Naturally, all of us have various challenges with this request.  Probably the majority of people that watch conference keep a large number of commandments, but they may struggle with a few, or even feel that a few are ‘unrealistic’.  Consider the Israelites as they approached the land of Canaan.  Moses sent twelve spies into the land.  Unfortunately, ten of them decided that they were not spies, but a feasibility committee.  Though they reported that the land flowed with milk and honey, they also reported that the people of the land made them feel like grasshoppers because of their size.

Keep in mind, the same God that had smitten Egypt with blood, frogs, lice, flies, the death of their cattle, boils, hail and fire, locusts, darkness, and the destroying angel, and delivered them from what was arguably the most powerful army in the ancient world by miraculously dividing the waters of the red sea, and then swallowing the chariots of Pharaoh, was the one that had sworn he would give the land to them.  Still, they were convinced that they could not possess Canaan because there were “big” people there.

Of course, it is easy for us to say that they were short-sighted.  The same short-sightedness may been seen in us though when a priesthood leader extends to us a calling or assignment.  For some people, they transform into their own “feasibility committee” and find numerous reasons why the same God that through his prophets has declared whom he calls he qualifies may not be thinking through the situation.  Certainly in some circumstances, leaders are able to follow the Spirit more accurately when they have all the information, but ultimately, we believe that a man must be called of God, by prophesy.  Those of us who have been baptized have sworn a covenant to keep the commandments.  Accepting, fulfilling, and magnifying callings are fundamental to this commitment.

Fulfilling assignments allows members to cooperate one with another in the great work of the Kingdom of God.  Even if there seems to be little value, little appreciation, and large amounts of work required, the prophets have never made a secret of the rewards that accompany obedience.  As President Monson said, “The knowledge which we seek, the answers for which we yearn, and the strength which we desire today to meet the challenges of a complex and changing world can be ours when we willingly obey the Lord’s commandments.”

Of course, it is not always a big, intimidating calling that represents the biggest challenge.  There are some people that go to great lengths to provide meaningful service, but are more easily beset by smaller obstacles.

Consider the story of Naaman, the Syrian captain.  He had been stricken with the terrible disease leprosy.  He became desperate to find healing.  One of his servants was acquainted with a Hebrew prophet named Elisha, and suggested that he might be able to help.  Naaman prepared a caravan with gold and silver and apparel to go and meet the man of God.  When he drew close to the land of Israel, instead of meeting the captain personally, he sent his servant Gehazi to meet him bearing only a few simple instructions: bathe seven times in the River Jordan.

At first, Naaman felt insulted.  He had not even been permitted to speak to the prophet directly, in spite of his journey and his prestige.  Furthermore, he preferred the fountains of his own country to the filthy water in the Jordan.  He went to leave for his home when one of his servants suggested that if the prophet had bid him do some great thing, he would have done it.  Why should he neglect this simple task?

Persuaded by the wisdom of his servant, he went to the River Jordan.  He dipped himself into it again and again as Elisha had instructed.  After the seventh time, when he arose from the water, he found that no trace of the disease remained with him.  He had been completely cleansed of the disease.  (2 Kings 5)

There are also examples demonstrating the consequences of ignoring the simple commandments.  We learn in the Book of Mormon that there were many Israelites that would not look at the brazen serpent that Moses had set up to be healed of their wounds because it was so simple, and that they perished for their neglect. (1 Nephi 17:41)

Certainly among the most basic tasks that are recommended by the prophet is daily scripture study.  Perhaps Harry Potter has more drama than 2^nd Nephi.  Perhaps it seems unimportant that Arphaxad begat Salah who begat Eber who begat Peleg who begat Reu who begat Serug who begat Nahor who begat Terah.

I might compare these attempts to read the scriptures to Naaman dipping himself in the Jordan River the first six times.  Persistence will eventually lead to eye-opening experiences.  To this day, nothing is as bold or powerful as Elijah calling down fire from heaven on Mount Carmel and humiliating the priests of Baal.  The confidence of David shouting down Goliath, or Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego holding their ground in the face of Nebuchadnezzar and his fiery furnace gives me confidence.  The humility of Gideon who wanted to be certain that he was doing what the Lord wanted when he fought the Midianites persuades me to seek the will of God in my dealings.  I understand the feeling that Joseph Smith had when he was moved by James 1:5 as much as I understand why the people were astonished at the power of Jesus Christ himself after he delivered the Sermon on the Mount.

Perhaps the most remarkable use of scripture is that of Jesus Christ himself when he was tempted by Satan.  Though he was the God that had given the law and inspired the prophets, he answered every request of the devil with words from the Holy Scriptures.  He used them as a shield against evil.

It could be said that “The knowledge which we seek, the answers for which we yearn, and the strength which we desire today to meet the challenges of a complex and changing world can be ours when we willingly obey the Lord’s commandments.”

Seeing the importance of commandments large and small inevitably causes us to reflect on our pasts.  Only Christ lived every commandment without mistake.  Repentance is a principal as old as time.  Prophets have always been instructed to call people to repentance… and have even gotten into trouble when they have not.

Consider the experience of Jonah.  He was called by God to go to Nineveh and proclaim repentance.  Perhaps he thought that it was a dangerous task, but whatever his reason, he decided to run away.  He boarded a ship for Tarshish as if he could flee from the Lord.  Of course he could not.  God sent a terrible tempest that threatened the ship and its passengers.  Reluctantly, the others on board cast Jonah off the ship.  A great fish swallowed Jonah, and after three days, spit him out on the land again.  God again called Jonah to preach repentance to Nineveh, to which Jonah responded obediently.  He warned Nineveh that if they did not repent, they would be destroyed.  To Jonah’s surprise, they did repent, and they were spared.

God knew the value of the people of Nineveh even if Jonah did not immediately see it.  He has never sent his prophets to mince words regarding the importance of returning back to him.  Said Lehi to Jerusalem: repent or be destroyed.  Said Jeremiah to Jehoiakim, Jehoiachin, and Zedekiah: repent or be destroyed.  Said Isaiah in the reign of Manasseh: repent or be destroyed.  Said Moses to the children of Israel: repent or be destroyed.  Said Noah to the world: repent or be destroyed.  Warned the apostles to the fledgling church: repent or be destroyed.  Of course we know that when Christ returns, it will not be to have a big discussion.  Those that do not repent, will be destroyed.

In spite of our proximity in the fullness of times to the return of Jesus Christ and his victory over evil in the earth, he surprisingly does not send his prophets to warn “repent or be destroyed.”  I do not recall President Monson warning about how our enemies will invade… our old men will bury our young men… our mothers will bury their infants...  I recall no warning of plagues, famines, droughts, and disasters as consequences for sin or for failing to repent in time.

The perception that conference seems to be dull, repetitive, or redundant is largely shaped by context… but only the context of other conferences.  In the context of all time… it becomes clear that Jesus Christ is sending his prophets to say something new and different before he returns…  He sends them to say ‘please try a little harder’, ‘please be a little kinder’, ‘please be more forgiving’, and ‘please believe that God loves you.’  He sends them to say ‘please take advantage of Christ’s sacrifice.’

Essentially, Jesus Christ, the most High God that is coming in power and glory to reign and establish a paradise that has not been known since the days of Eden, is begging us to accept the very thing for which we should be begging him.

It is my hope that we will do as he asks… that we will be receptive to his pleadings… that we will magnify our callings… that we will diligently study our scriptures… that we will sincerely repent of our sins… that we will truly keep his commandments to take advantage of the promise of his living prophet:

“The knowledge which we seek, the answers for which we yearn, and the strength which we desire today to meet the challenges of a complex and changing world can be ours when we willingly obey the Lord’s commandments.”

 

Legendary: Lessons from Zelda

The frequency of my posts have decreased the past couple of months.  I could certainly blame the business of the holiday season, but the real reason is the release of two games that I have been thoroughly enjoying.

One of them is Star Wars: The Old Republic.  I love the concept of embracing the light side and rejecting the dark side.  Unlike other games in the same genre, this truly gives the feeling that all the enemies I am facing are more than grinding for levels, but that I am protecting the defenseless, liberating the captive, and where possible, extending mercy and forgiveness to those that have gone astray.

The other game is the one on which I would like to focus.  The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is the latest game in the Zelda franchise.  This franchise is close to my heart for several reasons.  Zelda is the first game I recall seeing on the Nintendo Entertainment System back in 1987.  I was almost immediately captivated by its complexity, its environment, and of course its famous music.  Through the years, each new Zelda game has provided a rich and rewarding experience.

For those that may be familiar with older posts, don't worry: this is still a religious blog.  It may be difficult for some to immediately draw a positive connection between faith and video games.  Nevertheless, I intend to do so.  If Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can speak in general conference about lessons that can be applied from non-religious literary works or even (shudder) musicals (Elder Oaks, April 2003), then I feel justified in so doing.

For those unfamiliar with the Legend of Zelda, the story has significantly expanded since the franchise was first introduced.  A critical element, common to most (arguably all) games in the series is the Triforce.  The legend goes that the world of Hyrule (the setting for most games) was created by three supreme golden goddesses: Din, goddess of power, Nayru, goddess of wisdom, and Farore, goddess of courage.  After the work of creation, these goddesses left the world.  In the place where they departed, they left three golden triangles representing their power and influence to govern the world.  If a person gained these triangles, they would possess the entire Triforce, and they would have power to make their will a reality.  The only apparent safeguard against misuse of the Triforce that was left by the Goddesses was to measure the heart of the person that obtained it.  If that person's heart was in balance, then they would maintain control of the entire Triforce.  If that person's heart was not in balance, then they would only retain that part with which they were most closely aligned, and the other two parts would be placed inside or made available to two others chosen by fate. 

In the most beloved game of the franchise, Ocarina of Time, an evil king of thieves lays his hands on the Triforce coveting power, and retains only the Triforce of Power.  Princess Zelda is given the Triforce of Wisdom and goes into hiding.  Link, the boy fated to be the hero of the Goddesses, is put in a position to become the keeper of the Triforce of Courage.

Defining the actual "Legend" of Zelda is an argument held in nerdy circles.  I interpret it to be this: the Hero of Courage helps the Princess of Wisdom overcome seemingly impossible odds to defeat the tyrannical King of Power.

Another important point is that in the various games, even though the characters "Link" and "Zelda" exist, they are actually different people in different ages fighting potentially different enemies.  I say potentially, because there are different super villains in the series, but many of them keep coming back.  The most famous of these is Ganon.

A question that frequently arises is why if there are supreme beings that created the world, law to govern it, and creatures to uphold the laws... where are they?  Why did they seemingly abandon the world?  Why do they allow tyrants, thieves, murderers, and other power-hungry war-mongers to gain even part of their power?  Why do they not prevent evil? 

In Windwaker, another game in the series, the villain Ganondorf boldly declares to Link as he points out how the world was swallowed by a great flood "Your Gods destroyed you!"  It is difficult not to think so.

The concept is not unique to the fictional world of Hyrule.  In the highly political climate in the United States, it is easy to be frustrated with someone if not everyone in the government.  It is easy to feel discouragement when we observe guilty men escape justice because of technicalities, while some that do good are wrongfully oppressed.  It may even seem that the God that made this world appears to have left it to those that covet power.  There are few days that go by without news of violent crime, war, and hatred.  Why does God not prevent these evils?  Why does he not make right these wrongs?

Those that have the patience and perseverance to play through the challenges in the Legend of Zelda perhaps know the answer to these questions.

There is no dungeon without a map.  There is a way out of the lost woods.  Every boss has a weakness.

Each palace that is explored yields new equipment and abilities.  Each nightmare that is defeated increases the vitality of the hero that vanquishes it.

Even worlds that seem overwhelmed with enemies are not void of friends, and showing kindness to people will almost always pay off.

 If it were not for Gohma, Dodongo, and Barinade, Link might be stuck with three hearts.  Helping round up stray cuccos provides a rich reward.

God did not abandon the world he made.  And while we may not know exactly when he will return, his will is made real by heroes who everyday show courage in doing the right thing.  In the end, no matter how difficult, it always pays off. 

Evil is allowed to be so that heroes can be made, and their purposes and destinies be fulfilled.  "For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face: now I know only in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." (1 Corinthians 13:12)

The Spirit of Prophecy

This past weekend, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints had its semiannual sessions of General Conference.  These meetings provide an opportunity for members of the Church to hear directly from those who are regarded as prophets of God.

To some, it might seem audacious for a Church to claim leadership that speaks on behalf of Jesus Christ himself.  Perhaps it seemed equally brash to contemporaries of Moses, Enoch, Noah, Elijah, or other famous prophets that they had messages from God.  Whether modern or ancient, almost no prophet is universally accepted.

Perhaps the prevalence of modern religious nuts contributes to the cynicism with which many bold religious leaders are viewed.  Certainly people that try and predict the time when Jesus Christ will come again, or the identity of the two witnesses in Revelation that will be resurrected before his return. (Revelation 11).

While it is appropriate to be wary of those that peddle sensationalism as prophecy, the presence of false prophets does not preclude the possibility that there are also true prophets.

The term prophecy is itself frequently misunderstood.  Many people equate prophecy with predicting the future, but prophecy is not limited to events that have not yet transpired.  Prophecy is the truth of things as they were, as they are, and as they are to come.  For this reason, the book of Revelation rightly states “the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.” (Revelation 19:10).

A person that declares that Jesus died for our sins declares a fundamental spiritual truth.  Similarly, modern prophets and apostles spend a great deal of time talking about the present tense.  Messages such as “have faith”, “repent”, “receive the ordinances of the gospel”, “study the Bible and the Book of Mormon”, “pray always”, and “render meaningful service” were all mentioned during the conference.  These concepts represent true and timely counsel about what needs to happen right now.  Prophets in the Bible and Book of Mormon also spent most of their time preaching about needs applicable to those they taught.

Although the present may be the focus, it is never the limit of a true prophet.  Modern prophets do not hesitate to declare that Christ will come again, or that Satan will not prevail against God in the end, or that forgiveness and happiness will come to the humble and penitent.  Their confidence is more than optimism… it is prophecy.  It is the truth of things as they will be.

These methods are not new; they have been used by prophets and apostles since the dawn of time.  Their messages to us are no less pertinent than Isaiah’s prophecy that Hezekiah would be delivered from Sennacherib (2 Kings 19:20-34), or the promise of Lehi and other prophets that if Jerusalem did not repent, they would be destroyed (1 Nephi 1:4).

The presence of these prophets can be viewed as a sign from God himself that he is not content to simply sit on a throne and let events transpire as they may.  As he has always done, he sends those who can discern and tell the truth of things as they were, as they are, and as they will be.  As he has always, he longs for the sons of men to believe him.  As he has always, he generously offers his power to men, he mercifully pardons even those that have neglected or rejected him, and he continually asks his prophets to boldly declare that “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)