<Satire>
Dear Weekly Standard,
I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints all of my life, and so I know first-hand about the unkindness that comes from some of the more orthodox members of the church. Like the Pharisees in the scriptures, they are all hypocrites when it comes to living their religion... focusing only on the law, and not on the mercy and love that should be present in our communities.
Just last week, I came across a passage in the Book of Mormon that really resonated with me, because it talked about how damaging this type of person is. Of course, I've read parts of Mosiah before... mostly the verses in chapter 18 about mourning with those that morn and comforting those that stand in need of comfort... but I accidentally read a few pages earlier in the chapter and came across one of these orthodox religious types. I think this provides a good lesson on how to handle this sort of situation. I started in Mosiah 12.
So first off... just like some of these DezNat types, this guy comes in (in disguise of course because he's a coward) and starts nitpicking about the behavior of other people... you know "...this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage..." Like, dude, why don't you look at your own life before you start harping on others!
Then he incites violence against people. He singles out one progressive leader that he hates, and says that his life will be "...valued even as a garment in a hot furnace." Obviously, this is a dog whistle to rile up the alt-right against people who don't live up to their standards.
So then, this guy is approached by the government leaders. They respond in a really rational, calm, and down-to-earth way... because, like, if it were me, I would've wanted to punch him in the face like the nazi he was. They went straight to the kind parts of the scriptures... listen:
"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings; that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good; that publisheth salvation..."
So calm, so peaceful, right?
And then he goes straight for this self-righteous "if ye keep the commandments, ye shall be saved... have ye done all this? I say unto you nay, ye have not. And have ye taught this people that they should do all these things? I say unto you nay, ye have not." I mean, the brazen unkindness and judgmental preachiness just gets under my skin.
So I guess in the end he gets what he deserves and gets burned alive. That's almost poetic isn't it? Because he was saying that was going to happen to the guy he was attacking, right?
So yeah, even in the Book of Mormon that these right-wingers in the church use all the time... this guy... what was his name? Yeah... Abinadi...
He can serve as a lesson to them about what happens when you don't use kindness. Checkmate judgmental Mormons!
Sincerely,
Evan B. Haram
</Satire>
Showing posts with label #lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #lessons. Show all posts
Monday, May 13, 2019
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
How NOT to teach from conference talks
For the past several years, teaching in Melchizedek Priesthood quorums and Relief Society in Sunday meetings have focused on the teachings of former presidents of the church.
This coming year, these meetings will focus on the teachings of living prophets and apostles. This announcement is both exciting and terrifying.
Exciting because members of the church frequently take for granted that we enjoy the counsel of prophets and apostles who are guided by Jesus Christ. There have been times when only a small family such as that of Noah or of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob enjoyed this type of guidance. In the days of Moses, or during the reign of the Kings of Judah and Israel, a small nation had access to prophetic guidance. The current availability of prophets to people around the globe is unprecedented, and frequently overlooked. Emphasis on these inspired messages in Sunday meetings provides an opportunity for those who attend to receive the servants of God.
Terrifying because many people have sat through "Teachings for our Times" lessons that focused on general conference talks that follow this tired formula:
1. The instructor gets a volunteer to read a paragraph from a talk
2. The instructor tells everyone that they like the paragraph
3. The instructor asks a question that can be answered by "read your scriptures, go to church, pray."
4. The instructor checks the clock, and unless it is at least 5 minutes passed when the class is supposed to end, they begin again at step 1
The new teaching materials for youth and now for Priesthood and Relief Society are titled "Teaching in the Savior's Way," and this focus is intended to do promote that. Rather than have a structured lesson from a manual, the philosophy is meant to provide opportunity to counsel and instruct based on the needs of the individuals. This format is intended to promote a more natural expression of truth, faith, and testimony, and less of a canned one-size-fits-all lesson.
This is exactly how Jesus taught. To some people, he emphasized truths using dramatic comparisons such as the prodigal son and the good Samaritan. To others, he spoke more abstractly, such as his message to Nicodemus about being born again (John 3), or his teachings about the need to seek the bread of life to those who were hoping Jesus would give them a free meal (John 6). He spoke with impressive authority in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), and with patience for little children (Mark 10). He knew how to handle those who were argumentative (Matthew 21:23-45), and those who needed help (Mark 2).
Jesus wanted people to think deeply about eternal truths. His approach encouraged people to search the scriptures and the words of the prophets, and persuaded people to pray, even though he did not emphasize the use of questions like "what are some ways we can follow the prophets?" or "who has a personal experience about this principle that they would be willing to share?" Though the words of prophets were fundamental to his message, he demonstrated their importance through application and demonstration rather than a shallow proclamation such as "I like what Isaiah said there."
For those who are assigned to teach in any capacity, I hope that this new focus encourages you to teach as Jesus did. Let the words of the prophets and the guidance of the Holy Ghost help you to persuade bad men to become good... and good men to become better... "Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:13)
This coming year, these meetings will focus on the teachings of living prophets and apostles. This announcement is both exciting and terrifying.
Exciting because members of the church frequently take for granted that we enjoy the counsel of prophets and apostles who are guided by Jesus Christ. There have been times when only a small family such as that of Noah or of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob enjoyed this type of guidance. In the days of Moses, or during the reign of the Kings of Judah and Israel, a small nation had access to prophetic guidance. The current availability of prophets to people around the globe is unprecedented, and frequently overlooked. Emphasis on these inspired messages in Sunday meetings provides an opportunity for those who attend to receive the servants of God.
Terrifying because many people have sat through "Teachings for our Times" lessons that focused on general conference talks that follow this tired formula:
1. The instructor gets a volunteer to read a paragraph from a talk
2. The instructor tells everyone that they like the paragraph
3. The instructor asks a question that can be answered by "read your scriptures, go to church, pray."
4. The instructor checks the clock, and unless it is at least 5 minutes passed when the class is supposed to end, they begin again at step 1
The new teaching materials for youth and now for Priesthood and Relief Society are titled "Teaching in the Savior's Way," and this focus is intended to do promote that. Rather than have a structured lesson from a manual, the philosophy is meant to provide opportunity to counsel and instruct based on the needs of the individuals. This format is intended to promote a more natural expression of truth, faith, and testimony, and less of a canned one-size-fits-all lesson.
This is exactly how Jesus taught. To some people, he emphasized truths using dramatic comparisons such as the prodigal son and the good Samaritan. To others, he spoke more abstractly, such as his message to Nicodemus about being born again (John 3), or his teachings about the need to seek the bread of life to those who were hoping Jesus would give them a free meal (John 6). He spoke with impressive authority in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), and with patience for little children (Mark 10). He knew how to handle those who were argumentative (Matthew 21:23-45), and those who needed help (Mark 2).
Jesus wanted people to think deeply about eternal truths. His approach encouraged people to search the scriptures and the words of the prophets, and persuaded people to pray, even though he did not emphasize the use of questions like "what are some ways we can follow the prophets?" or "who has a personal experience about this principle that they would be willing to share?" Though the words of prophets were fundamental to his message, he demonstrated their importance through application and demonstration rather than a shallow proclamation such as "I like what Isaiah said there."
For those who are assigned to teach in any capacity, I hope that this new focus encourages you to teach as Jesus did. Let the words of the prophets and the guidance of the Holy Ghost help you to persuade bad men to become good... and good men to become better... "Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:13)
Monday, July 16, 2012
Keep hands, feet, and personal experiences to yourself!
While many people fear public speaking, there is one huge advantage over a more interactive teaching approach: the public speaker controls every word. A person giving a talk or a speech never has to worry about someone raising their hand in the congregation and interjecting unpredictable content.
In Mormon worship services, the first hour is devoted to the observance of the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper, and to the presentation of public speakers on various religious subjects. The subsequent hours feature a more interactive style of instruction where teachers present material, and frequently invite class members to answer questions or offer comments and insight to complement the main subjects. While this method can provide value to what might otherwise be a monotonous lecture, there is a risk in audience participation.
There are various offenses that occur when class members contribute:
1. The stupid question - There are some who believe there is no such thing as a stupid question. They are wrong. The off topic question may only be a distraction, but it can be much worse. An instructor teaching about faith is not likely to be able to assist a class member decipher the mysteries of facsimile number 2.
2. Deep doctrine diving - Maybe Adam and Eve had belly buttons. Maybe women will have hairy legs in heaven. Maybe the class member that brings up subjects like these should have kept their mouth shut.
3. Redundant, repetitious statements that have already been said - Faith is important, but everyone understood that the first time it was mentioned. It is OK to say 'never mind' if you had your hand raised and someone else gave your answer.
4. The Filibuster - It is not always easy to be concise, but the class member that takes ten minutes to get to a point can probably shorten their comment. There may be on the rare occasion a person that is able to present a complicated and well-thought out point that takes some time to explain properly... but when class members are actively comparing their Angry Birds scores on their phones, take a hint and wrap it up.
5. What the? I Don't Even - Albuquerque; snorkel; lasers; tofu; steam rollers; concrete; purple; Sherlock Holmes. See? I can do it too!
As bad as all of these things are, perhaps the most annoying crime against humanity that occurs in the classroom is:
6. The personal experience - Perhaps somewhere in the personal experience, there may be a nugget of worth. Finding it can be similar to finding the good chunk of meat in a slab that is crawling with maggots. They are always filled with completely unnecessary details. Here is an example of a hypothetical personal experience that represents the typical (perhaps slightly exaggerated) recitation with commentary in parenthesis:
So I actually have an experience with sharing the gospel. (Please be short, please be short)
There's this guy I met who is actually from Minnesota... (Hold the phone!!! Minnesota!?! I'm sure that is pertinent to sharing the gospel.)
...and he came here to go to school... (Perhaps you could also tell us about his application process. What were his SAT scores? How does the cost of tuition and living compare to those found in Minnesota?)
...and he's actually going to the University of Utah... (Yes, but where does he park his car? I'm not sure I have enough details here.)
He's majoring in liberal arts... (Because major affects his eligibility for salvation apparently...)
...and he's really athletic, you know kind of a jock type? Ha ha ha ha! (I'm sorry, was that supposed to be funny?)
So I started talking to him about two weeks ago. Well actually it was more like two and a half weeks. Well, two weeks and three days... (I'm not sure I can appreciate this personal experience unless you tell me what time it was.)
Yeah, we work at the same place doing sales. So he's really outgoing like me! (Is he really outgoing? We don't really know unless you give us his the results of his personality test, his horoscope, and the last three messages he had in his fortune cookies...)
So anyways, he saw me being all righteous, you know... not drinking Dr. Pepper... and he was like, "I want to be like you man, you're always so happy!" (Yeah... who wouldn't want to be like you?)
So I didn't really think about it for a while, but a few days later I was eating lunch and I ran into him. I was like "Hey what's up?" Then we started talking about the weather and his school... (I wonder if there's something more enlightening on Facebook. Good thing I have a smart phone!)
And we were talking about how hard it is to go to school and work, and I told him about one way I deal with stress... you know... drinking Coke and listening to Godsmack or actually hip hop, which is my favorite... (That is a great tweet! I'm glad I follow Adam Baldwin on Twitter...)
But the other thing I do to deal with stress is to read the Ensign magazine... because the prophets give me comfort and peace. I don't mean they make me fall asleep though... Ha ha ha ha ha!! (Unlike your personal experience... I really wish I had a pillow...)
And anyway, it was a good talk, and I felt like I was being a good example to him, and I followed the promptings I received. (Please be wrapping up, please be wrapping up)
So I haven't talked to him since, so I don't know what he thought about it. So anyway, I'm still trying to do missionary work by my example... (So the story has almost no point? Well at least he's done now...)
And so that's an important lesson I learned. I learned that even in Utah County there are still people that need to learn about the Savior. I learned that we can be examples everywhere we go. I learned that... (Are you seriously still going on!?!?! Unbelievable!!!)
...you've got to have that faith and that example. You've got to have that spirit of missionary work. You can't be afraid to open your mouth... (I really wish you would shut your mouth.)
You can make a difference, because you never know when you'll meet someone from Minnesota who needs to hear the gospel. (As opposed to people from other states who I guess are OK?)
So anyway, I'll keep working with him, and who knows? Ha ha ha ha! (.............)
All hyperboles aside, it may actually be possible to share a personal experience in a manner that is concise, appropriate, and positive. This takes a degree of skill that few have achieved. For the vast majority of class members, the following tips can help prevent you from ruining a lesson:
1. Be concise - Unless you have an accent or otherwise entertaining voice, most people probably do not want to hear the sound of you talking.
2. Stay on topic - Details that you think are important such as schools, occupations, hobbies, carpet colors... they aren't actually important. Reinforcing universal general principals closely associated with the lesson topic should be the goal of all participants.
3. Think before you speak - In class, look to your left and right. Realize that there are people there. Would they be enlightened, uplifted, or edified by what you're thinking of saying? Does your comment or question provoke thought, provide clarity, or enhance context? Consider keeping your hand down and your mouth shut if in doubt. (Proverbs 17:28)
In Mormon worship services, the first hour is devoted to the observance of the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper, and to the presentation of public speakers on various religious subjects. The subsequent hours feature a more interactive style of instruction where teachers present material, and frequently invite class members to answer questions or offer comments and insight to complement the main subjects. While this method can provide value to what might otherwise be a monotonous lecture, there is a risk in audience participation.
There are various offenses that occur when class members contribute:
1. The stupid question - There are some who believe there is no such thing as a stupid question. They are wrong. The off topic question may only be a distraction, but it can be much worse. An instructor teaching about faith is not likely to be able to assist a class member decipher the mysteries of facsimile number 2.
2. Deep doctrine diving - Maybe Adam and Eve had belly buttons. Maybe women will have hairy legs in heaven. Maybe the class member that brings up subjects like these should have kept their mouth shut.
3. Redundant, repetitious statements that have already been said - Faith is important, but everyone understood that the first time it was mentioned. It is OK to say 'never mind' if you had your hand raised and someone else gave your answer.
4. The Filibuster - It is not always easy to be concise, but the class member that takes ten minutes to get to a point can probably shorten their comment. There may be on the rare occasion a person that is able to present a complicated and well-thought out point that takes some time to explain properly... but when class members are actively comparing their Angry Birds scores on their phones, take a hint and wrap it up.
5. What the? I Don't Even - Albuquerque; snorkel; lasers; tofu; steam rollers; concrete; purple; Sherlock Holmes. See? I can do it too!
As bad as all of these things are, perhaps the most annoying crime against humanity that occurs in the classroom is:
6. The personal experience - Perhaps somewhere in the personal experience, there may be a nugget of worth. Finding it can be similar to finding the good chunk of meat in a slab that is crawling with maggots. They are always filled with completely unnecessary details. Here is an example of a hypothetical personal experience that represents the typical (perhaps slightly exaggerated) recitation with commentary in parenthesis:
So I actually have an experience with sharing the gospel. (Please be short, please be short)
There's this guy I met who is actually from Minnesota... (Hold the phone!!! Minnesota!?! I'm sure that is pertinent to sharing the gospel.)
...and he came here to go to school... (Perhaps you could also tell us about his application process. What were his SAT scores? How does the cost of tuition and living compare to those found in Minnesota?)
...and he's actually going to the University of Utah... (Yes, but where does he park his car? I'm not sure I have enough details here.)
He's majoring in liberal arts... (Because major affects his eligibility for salvation apparently...)
...and he's really athletic, you know kind of a jock type? Ha ha ha ha! (I'm sorry, was that supposed to be funny?)
So I started talking to him about two weeks ago. Well actually it was more like two and a half weeks. Well, two weeks and three days... (I'm not sure I can appreciate this personal experience unless you tell me what time it was.)
Yeah, we work at the same place doing sales. So he's really outgoing like me! (Is he really outgoing? We don't really know unless you give us his the results of his personality test, his horoscope, and the last three messages he had in his fortune cookies...)
So anyways, he saw me being all righteous, you know... not drinking Dr. Pepper... and he was like, "I want to be like you man, you're always so happy!" (Yeah... who wouldn't want to be like you?)
So I didn't really think about it for a while, but a few days later I was eating lunch and I ran into him. I was like "Hey what's up?" Then we started talking about the weather and his school... (I wonder if there's something more enlightening on Facebook. Good thing I have a smart phone!)
And we were talking about how hard it is to go to school and work, and I told him about one way I deal with stress... you know... drinking Coke and listening to Godsmack or actually hip hop, which is my favorite... (That is a great tweet! I'm glad I follow Adam Baldwin on Twitter...)
But the other thing I do to deal with stress is to read the Ensign magazine... because the prophets give me comfort and peace. I don't mean they make me fall asleep though... Ha ha ha ha ha!! (Unlike your personal experience... I really wish I had a pillow...)
And anyway, it was a good talk, and I felt like I was being a good example to him, and I followed the promptings I received. (Please be wrapping up, please be wrapping up)
So I haven't talked to him since, so I don't know what he thought about it. So anyway, I'm still trying to do missionary work by my example... (So the story has almost no point? Well at least he's done now...)
And so that's an important lesson I learned. I learned that even in Utah County there are still people that need to learn about the Savior. I learned that we can be examples everywhere we go. I learned that... (Are you seriously still going on!?!?! Unbelievable!!!)
...you've got to have that faith and that example. You've got to have that spirit of missionary work. You can't be afraid to open your mouth... (I really wish you would shut your mouth.)
You can make a difference, because you never know when you'll meet someone from Minnesota who needs to hear the gospel. (As opposed to people from other states who I guess are OK?)
So anyway, I'll keep working with him, and who knows? Ha ha ha ha! (.............)
All hyperboles aside, it may actually be possible to share a personal experience in a manner that is concise, appropriate, and positive. This takes a degree of skill that few have achieved. For the vast majority of class members, the following tips can help prevent you from ruining a lesson:
1. Be concise - Unless you have an accent or otherwise entertaining voice, most people probably do not want to hear the sound of you talking.
2. Stay on topic - Details that you think are important such as schools, occupations, hobbies, carpet colors... they aren't actually important. Reinforcing universal general principals closely associated with the lesson topic should be the goal of all participants.
3. Think before you speak - In class, look to your left and right. Realize that there are people there. Would they be enlightened, uplifted, or edified by what you're thinking of saying? Does your comment or question provoke thought, provide clarity, or enhance context? Consider keeping your hand down and your mouth shut if in doubt. (Proverbs 17:28)
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